Why do i do this to myself? Why? I just called Bigg. On a stupid whim. I am making myself a bug-a-boo now. I got his voicemail, i know his minutes aren't free yet. Ugh! I shouldn't have left a message but i did and i panicked and said something so dumb, i sounded so confused and desperate and now i'm screwed. I do not want to scare him off by being too available but i can't tell you what possessed me to do it, i just did. I had just gotten off the phone with Miguel and i just called him. I said something uninspired like "i just called to give you my number and oh yeah... you still have my paper...k Bye!" Fuck me! I am so stupid! He knows now that i had him on the brain and wanted some dumb excuse to call him. I am the gold brick of stupid from the idiot bank.
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