I am such a deluded moron

I am such a deluded moron. Ok, i was pissed last night so i decided to swallow my pride and call Bigg. For a while we were playing phone tag but finally he rang while i was in. I asked him if a person didn't call him if that meant he wouldn't call them. He said i wanted him to run up behind me all the time and he wasn't doing it. Honestly. Ok, so we talked till 1:30 a.m. And now i am happy again. We'll see how short lived it is this time hey?

We talked rubbish most of the night. Lots and lots of inuendos. Very coy. At one point i asked him what he was doing and he sad he was snapping his belt. So i jokingly remarked that i didn't realise he was the kinky type. He laughed and asked if i liked to be spanked. I told him i believed he was in the process of spanking some woman. How silly was that whole conversation? At another point he asked what i would get him for Christmas,. I asked what he wanted. He said he wanted me. Then he said he was joking. Hmmn. I'd quite like that actually. And i could probably afford it. I'm kidding. Let me stop.

I never really realized how pathetic a soul i am until now. Do you know hearing Bigg's voice turns me on? Literally. Considering who's gonna read this, i should probably stop there with that.

I just saw him. He was working. I promised him last night that i wouldn't ignore him today and would be nice to him. I promised i'd give him a hug. But he was at work just now. I couldn't exactly do anything with his boss right there now could i? I did wave though.

We had an interesteing chat about his last relationship last night and he explained to me the concept of"talking" as Americans like to put it. I kinda get why he is so relationship wary right now. I hate it though, but i understand that whatever transpires between the two of us will not be serious, not at this point. Damn. Ok, enough Bigg talk for now, I'm sprung. We've acknowledged that bit. Life goes on.

I.......need to go. I'm bored all of a sudden.