Ok, ok, maybe i should rename this blog BIGG because that is all i ever talk about. But i can't help it, it's a release for me otherwise i would be forced to bore my friends to death with talk of him. I already do that but i am trying desperately to stop. I am trying to be not so available all the time. I know i must dance on Miguel's last nerve though he would never ever tell me. But i feel annoying when i am around all the time. I feel like that dorky friend that you feel sorry for and invite to sit with you one afternoon and they mistake that as an all-the-time thing and you try desperately to shake them. Ok, i don't, but i feel too available.
Anyway, like the title of today's entry, Friday will definately be a good day, i am speaking that into today. I got an email from Rudo (one of my many Ru's) and she said she got a VISA to come visit here. I am excited, i haven't seen her since i left Zim over a year ago and i miss the little bastard. I suppose me and her are going to continue the search for the perfect Bar-B-Q like we did all through A-level. And I gave Clark the address to this blog. He is going to be so disgusted with me man. But i have always loved Clark for his brutal honesty, despite what my pride says when it's hurt. Anyway, i figure he knows me well enough to know the good, the bad and the ugly about me. He's a friend i plan on having for life. Along with Ru. My Ru. That's Rufaro. She's my other baby girl (aside from Stef, but that's blood). I miss Ru so much and wish i could have my best friend here in person and not over the email and occassionally over the phone. But hey, it's better than nothing i suppose. She got my back though, and i always have hers.
Ok, enough with the tribute to my friends. Bigg. I think it's meant to be spelled with two g's. Then again i did create this nickname for him so i can do what i want with it right? Anyway i have gone the whole week without talking to him. I mean really talking to him, over the phone. He hasn't called and like i said, i didn't call him either. Although i am embarrassed to admit that last night i almost blocked my number and called him just to hear his voice. How stalker-crazy is that? Bloody hell i need a grip! But i didn't, i caught myself in time and told myself i was a moron, a deluded one at that. And i went to bed and got up this morning. See, it's times like this, when i don't have to listen to his sexy voice teasing me or singing along to some song i am playing in the background that i can start getting over him. But then, like frickin clockwork, it starts again and he calls me or something and i fall right back on my sprung ass. Well my bruised ass is getting tired. But i know i won't quit. I'm addicted. A tad sadistic really because i know how much it's gonna hurt afterwards, but i still do it anyway.
So no Bigg, really, all week. I saw him everyday though. Yesterday he had on a blue shirt and looked yum. But he ignored me. I said hey to him when he was at work when me and Lee passed by but he just said hello and that was that. Obviously you demented loon, because he was working! I tried to stay busy the rest of the day. Jules and me went to the hair supply store to get some hair and Alexis took us in his van. I felt kinda creeped out on that backseat, considering things i know about it. Hmmn. But i spent $40 on hair and i am so broke right now it's hardly funny. Then i spent $12 at Walmart on drinks and frozen dinners. I have a motherload of stuff to buy my family before i fly out on the 11th and i am wondering where the hell my last two paychecks went. I can't account for them. I am screwed.
I am having lunch with Lacy just now and i have all those articles due to Miguel today. I am so bad, i should be shot. Really. But i have decided to smile and get my world back in it's proper revolution so it doesn't revolve around Bigg. I'm trying, honest.
Ok, i am working on this whole shorter blog entries thing. I suck at it though. I talk too damn much.
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