I just saw this on yahoo and thought it was interesting. I know I am trying not to obsess over this but I can't deny it still plagues my thoughts. It was this girl who wrote in to psichiatrists for love help and she seems like her situation could have similarities with mine. Anyway, here is what they said to her and I think I see a little of it applying to moi too.
What you may not realize is that you're not in love with your ex; you're in love with your fantasy of your ex. You've taken every tiny good moment you remember, forgotten all the unpleasant ones, and created a gorgeous fantasy for yourself that no real man can live up to. That's not good for you, and doesn't make for a happy life. You may also be resisting letting him go because you've decided it means something bad about you -- that you weren't good enough for him. What's true is that he wasn't good for you.
Forgive yourself, forgive him, and put away all your dreams and mementos.
Forgive yourself, forgive him, and put away all your dreams and mementos. Literally, box up everything that reminds you of him -- pictures, cards, letters, gifts -- and get them out of your sight. Spend time with your friends, and build a good life for yourself. Before you know it, you'll figure out what went wrong here; you'll open up to other men; and you'll be able to put this relationship in the category of "memory" and build a new one that's even better. As long as you learn and grow, you'll always
Your heart and head give you conflicting messages.
You want to control the situation.
Your other dates have been unsatisfactory because you compare them to "him" and they fall short.
You act obsessed with this man, but are searching to get rid of him
An obsession is something that persistently dominates your thoughts even against your better judgment. You feel the target is elusive but almost within your grasp. It reveals that you are focusing on controlling the target. What sort of void is there in your life that you are trying to fill by controlling this ambivalent, judgmental man?
Work on having the integrity to keep your word so people will take you seriously. A lot of this drama seems to be created by you. Why? Is your life boring otherwise? Talk it over with a close friend, counselor or clergy, and get busy becoming a better you!
Hmmn. Thats all I gots ta say.
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