Prometheus

I don't subscribe to Greek mythology or any for that matter but there is some literary significance to my referrence of the rebel, tormented god of Greek mythology. Can you imagine what it must feel like to be chained constantly to a rock on some remote mountain and have your liver pecked at by some hellish bird only to have your flesh heal and your liver grow back so it can all happen again day after merciless day? Torture is putting it very mildly. I don't presume to know much about psycho-analysis or terminology and diagnosese ( i am sure i spelled that horridly wrong), but i think that in many of our lives we go through a Prometheus period or stage where it seems life's circumstances keep ripping us open and pecking away at us day after day with no mercy. I do believe that to be true.

I spent the night at the hospital. She was admitted again a few days ago for a procedure and they kept her in there to watch over her. My aunt. I brought lotion and massaged her mangled, almost dead looking feet. I thought it might bring relief to the pain and make her feel better if the dead skin was exfoliated and criculation encouraged. Why must she go through this? It is not fair. Death is a cruel tease. Sometimes it leads one to turn their back on their faith and ultimately succumb to its seductively disguised evil. Death has been teasing her. Playing hard to get. No one wants her to die and most of us are in denial about it because our faith in God refuses to let reason prevail. Yet, how long will she be tormented like this?

I am burdened by her condition as well as my school condition. I went to class today, finally. And i think i have finished with my registration stuff. What a nightmare it has been. Now i am undergoing more of a nightmare. I am wracked with guilt. My parents must be stressed about where they will get the money to pay for it all. I am so discouraged. My fees are out of our limits. And i am no help at all. I should be working three jobs and getting enough money and relieving my parents who have given of themselves since i was born for me. I felt horrid when i was twelve and had all my eye problems, my surgeries and such. It was so expensive and so taxing. They managed but it was such a burden. And then i was still young, and covered by the embassy. I was a kid. I am an adult now, yet i am dependant on my parents for everything and that is not the way it should be. Mom said the other day how proud she was of the person i have become. How can she be though? I am not proud of me. I am viewed as a child by all my famliy. They all talk to and treat me as if i were five. I hate it. Not being taken seriously. I hate feeling useless and being the cause of added stress and worry. I am so distressed, i don't know what to do. I am at my wit's end. I am beginning to consider the unthinkable, just so i can make it. I have to sacrifice everything now. No matter what, i am not going to be a burden any longer. I need to start taking care of me.

In the story, Zues was punishing Prometheus for rebelling and disobeying him. If i am to use that fairytale as an example.....what is my Aunt being punished for? My parents? Me? I don't seem to understand the crimes committed though it feels as though the punishment has ben doled out.