The Game of Love

When you are a little kid, life is summed up in three basic actions. Eating. Sleeping. And playing games. Why do we as adults assume we grow out of the latter when we never grow out of the two former actions? I think that playing games as children is sort of a prep or a practice run for adulthood. Because once we cross the threshold into adult land, isn't it all about playing by the rules or breaking the rules or making your own rules up? Rules to what? Life. Love. Relationships. What we as adults live for. To me, it seems that love is all a big game we play. Many of us go through it losing a lot at first because there is no official rulebook one is allowed to look through and find the answers in. You have to get to a certain level before you are allowed insight on how the game is played. And some win. Many lose.

I haven't really been in the game long enough to make any educated statements on the mechanics of the game, but i have sat in, watching others play and have subsequently learned a lot. I have learned one of the most important rules of the game. You can never have partners. It's a game of solitaire. Sure you would think that love is a game you play together with different (wrong) partners until you find the one right partner who will cross the finish line with you. No. From what my young and inexperienced mind had gathered so far, love is a brutal and cruel game that never ends. And you play it alone. Others may be in it with you at any given time but, essentially they are looking out for their own and trying to win. The competition is fierce.

Where am i going with this? I was just thinking about the mind games adults play. The calculations and the strategies. You can't even plan a simple date without drawing up a gameplan and reviewing it about a thousand and three times. And when something unexpected happens to throw off your game you panic and freak out. And for what? Why is there so much pressure? Who's rules are we all playing by? And if these rules are so effective, then why do we keep losing the game?

I was told i was a very calculating individual. I can't say i was thrilled, but i can't pretend i was shocked either. I am calculating. And though i run the risk of conforming to the stereotypical female role, i must admit that i have an agenda. I play mind games. With everyone. I relish in creating mazes and watching the people i interact with trying to get to the center, or the prizeroom. It tickles me when they think they are on the right path and they get excited, only to hit another wall. And yet, quite hypocritically, i despise games.I loath being toyed with, the very thing that i do to people, especially men. But i realised that we are all always playing games with each other. All the time. It never ends. We have been preconditioned as children to approach life that way. And whether it's in our careers, our friendships, challenges or whatever the case is...we apply games to them in order to win. And the many games of love are no different.

I wonder if we play with love in order to make it seem less intense, take some of the pressure off. Because if we regard love as a game, it is much easier to deal with losing at it. And the mind games protect us from revealing too much of ourselves and exposing our nakedness, thus making it easier to bruise. But it begs the question: what would happen if one day we decided to call it quits? Stop playing the game. If love was less calculated and strategized, and it wasn't a matter of losing or winning......would we be happier? Or would we end up more depressed?