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Friday, May 5

I can not be bloody trusted

It's bloody happening again.

Buggery wanking todger! I am such a deluded moron.

It was raining last night. Hard. It's a little thing between us that we love watching thunderstorms. It was lightening and everything. It was beautiful. It was three in the a.m.

He called me. Asked what i was doing. I was not sleeping. He asked if he could pick me up so we could watch the thunderstorm together. I said yes. I went.

We went to J's. Unfortunately J was still up. For about an hour. He finally left and went into his room to sleep and he put in Wedding Crashers. I would have preferred sitting in a car and watching the rain, but it worked i guess. He was laying on me.

We stayed up after the movie ended, talking. We delved into deep issues.

I do not know what i want right now but i felt a pull towards him. I knew better, the pull was really strong but also shallow. It was like watching a car crash in slow motion. I saw myself crashing but couldn't do anything to stop it. Well, i could but didn't.

Around 9 this morning we were still up and he said he wanted to taste my "luscious lips" after i provoked and provoked him to get the desired affect. I worked my mischeivous charm. I asked him what was holding him back.

Things fall apart.

I need to stop this behaviour. This just will not do chum. Just won't do. I need to stop before i do something i might regret. But now he thinks i am on the same page as he is and i'm not.

This just will not do.

5 comments:

Malaika said...

i think ur both on the same pg 4 sure

Sam said...

how do u mean?

Malaika said...

well if he isn't being true... meaning he is full of it... and you aren't really into him...then you both are sort of on equal footing. get my meaning?

Sam said...

i think i am getting into him though. hmmn. oh dear.

Malaika said...

thats bad business....well you're young...whats wrong with a boyfriend...you'll live through it...and probably love every minute of it.