Ok, so maybe you won't die, per se, but you will have one hell of an interesting night and then a pretty crappy day nursing a ridiculous hangover the following day.
So it was my birthday last week. I don't know why I was determined this year to have a memorable birthday but I was almost desperate to. Initially I was having my girls from GA come to visit and we were going to make a girls weekend of it. True to form, they bailed on me, pretty useless, So as a backup I decided to see if any of my work mates would like to party with me instead. And by "I decided", I really mean the night before it came up that it was my birthday and McHottie (official name for tall white and SEXY as hell previously known as Hercules in the last post) said we should totally celebrate, once he found out my plans fell through. I know what you're thinking, Awwww look at that, he's sweet. Well, he likes to drink and any excuse is a good one right? Enter the cynic in me, Lol.
ANYHOO.... So it was roughly arranged that after work the next day (I was off and THANK GOD he was getting off at 7:30) a few of us would go and have drinks at a local bar. I didn't show it but in my head I was doing backflips and head spins out of excitement that McHottie was going to be there.
Sidenote, the day before I had found out quite devastatingly that McHottie got a job offer and my birthday would be his last day with us. I know. Kismet HATES me.
Anyway, back to the story. So I was off on my birthday and did the mani pedi thing with a co worker who had to work that night and would only be catching the tail end of my birthday thing. We had lunch together and it was cool. At the nail salon, while I was waiting on her guess who calls me? FB. I KNOW!!! I was a little taken aback. Now he has slowly been emailing me a lot and we were getting to more regular talking terms but he had never called and I suppose it was my birthday so that's why he called. We will delve into that later though.
So after mani pedis, I went to work with Latina coworker because I had to have a quick chat with one of my managers. Granted I probably could have called but I was looking good and wanted to "bump" into McHottie. And I did. And we solidified plans for later that night. It was a small group but I didn't care, I only had eyes for McHottie.
So I went home and bought a dress which I don't think I am a fan of much anymore now that I think of it but it was short, tight and off the shoulder. I needed to look good. It was my birthday and I was having drinks with McHottie.
I was fashionably late to the bar and got there after they had already sat down and ordered a round of drinks. My coworker (let's call her Red) immediately got me a drink and it was on like gangbusters from that point onward. So Bug-A-Boo was there sitting by the wall at our small table. Next to Bug-A-Boo was Red, across from Bug-A-Boo was McHottie and next to McHottie was Transportation Girl, another pseudo coworker who tagged along. I was fine with it but I was hoping to have sat next to McHottie, but whatever.
So then the drinks came. And came. And came and came and came. In my haste to find a hot outfit, I neglected to eat dinner. So I had two tacos from lunch in my belly and that didn't bode too well for me alcohol wise. Lol. I dunno if it was the huge cocktail, the name of which I have long since forgotten, that I first had, or the Ameretto sours that kept finding their way to me (yummy by the way) or the umpteen shots of tequila and random coffee liqueur or the Godzilla sized beerita I ordered on a whim (trying to keep up with McHottie, who might be a bit of a lush) but by 9pm I was lit. Lol. I was cussing like a sailor, talking louder than my usual loudspeaker setting, agreeing to random things, taking shots (I don't do shots, let alone TEQUILA!) and laughing a lot. Lol. I was a drunken mess and it was still way early. The only food I had there was a couple of bites of fried ice cream and three and a half chips with queso. It was kind of a disaster.
But it gets better. Oh, it always gets better with me doesn't it. Lol. So the place closed around 10 or 10:30 and we were in the parking lot. Bug-A-Boo went to change into proper clothes as he was still in his work clothes. I barely paid any attention to him that night lol. McHottie was lit but apparently he is a functional drunk because he seemed ok. Kind of. He was doing lunges in the parking lot. For no apparent reason. Over and over and over. I must have been on a quick downward spiral at this point because I remember only snatches of what happened next. I remember the manager chilling outside with us, making sure we (I) were good. He had the hots for Red even though she is married with kids. Lol. McHottie was doing lunges all over the place and Transportation girl was Gabby McTalksALot. At one point abs came up in conversation. I asked McHottie if he had a six pack. He said he had an eight pack. And that was the beginning of the end. I remember telling him to show me, him resisting while giggling and then me chasing him around a column drunkenly slurring "It's my burrrrrthday!! Come on!! Show me! Let me feel them!" Oh. My. God. I groped.... my crush. In the parking lot. I felt him up.... MULTIPLE times. Oh the absolute horror!
And then I passed out in the backseat of Red's car. I woke up at some point when Transportation girl tried to force feed me steaming coffee which ended up down my dress and burned the crap out of my chest. Nice job TG. Truly inspired. I remember Latina getting off work and arriving but I was half passed out and only heard her voice as she made me drink Sprite. I then threw up outside Red's car and passed out for real.
I woke up in a SpongeBob covered room and properly freaked out for a good five minutes until I remembered that Red has a five year old son and that is probably where I ended up. My shoes were off, I was face down, most likely drooling on the poor kids sheets and he was giving me the stink eye from the doorway. He had woken up early and crawled out of mummy's bed and back to his room and was none to pleased to find this drunken stranger in his bed. I felt bad, lol. Latina Girl came to pick me up as Red had to be at work that morning and took me to my car and though I am pretty sure I was still a little drunk, I drove my mortifying ass home and proceeded to have the worst hang over ever. Granted, I have never been hung over before. But I was then. I felt like hell all Saturday and stayed in bed and bits and pieces of the previous night were coming back to me and making me cringe more and more each time. I texted McHottie early on apologizing for "whatever I did last night" and then texted Latina to find out what exactly that was. Ugh.Eventually McHottie texted back that it was all good and he was still celebrating, He even texted me while I was in church the next day saying he was still celebrating, Lol. Lush.
So yeah. It was an interesting, memorable birthday. Had drinks with coworkers and McHottie, overdid it, groped McHottie in the parking lot, threw up and passed out and then displaced a five year old boy from his SpongeBob sheets. Awesome. Things are looking up for me. Lol.
But after the initial shock and mortification of Saturday when memories were filtering back to me, and the awful feeling of being hungover, I can say it was a good birthday. I wasn't alone or inhibited. I didn't cry. I wasn't depressed. I was with people and had a good time and got to feel up a devastatingly sexy man I have been crushing on for ages now. I did good.
And thankfully I didn't have to face McHottie that Monday because he got a new job and is now gone from my life. I remember him promising to take me shooting at some point. I dunno if that will pan out or if I will actually see him again but I am hoping relentlessly that I do see more of him and somehow he sees me not as Drunky McLightweight who he used to work with, but as a Sexy, possible shag. I could do with just shaggin him one time. I know I probably couldn't because of how insane my imagination gets when a hot guy so much as looks at me, but At this point I kind of think if he wanted to shag, I would have a REALLY hard time saying no. In fact I am pretty sure I would be naked before he completed the sentence. I'm not proud of this, but there it is.
My God HE IS SO SEXY it is maddening!!!!
Red's birthday is coming up in two weeks and we are going to do drinks again. She said we should invite McHottie and I am hoping against hope he makes it because if he does, I am not getting drunk off my ass before 10pm this time and I will do whatever it takes to blip on his radar. Have I mentioned how much I want him? No? I WANT HIM SO BADLY IT MAKES MY TEETH HURT. I have no clue what that means but it sounds right.
So. Fun birthday memory.
No comments:
Post a Comment