I've gone and shagged my boss

My stomach hurts. No, not becuz of the title of this post, though that would be appropriate. I suppose the half can of blue full throttle and the cheez-its for breakfast must have something to do with my tummy ache. Ugh.

So its been about three months and, as expected, I've managed to make life that much worse for myself. I have become that woman of ill-repute that you read about and tsk-tsk because she is just so scandalous. Ok, I tend to exaggerate an awful lot, but you have to admit you are a bit curious as to what I have done and how I managed to screw it all up arent you? Yes you are.

Last time I blogged fairly consistently I was going on about the bloke from my country who I was pseudo dating and who I found out had a kid. That was a shocker and made me think...for a split second and then I just pretended it had not been said. Blinking moron. So because there were no othr prospects, I indulged whatever that was between me and him though I admit that I ignored him a lot more and began losing much more interest. He began to get annoying , but I have no clue why. I suppose I just ignored all the annoying bits before and when my interest began to wan, I noticed them a lot more.

In comes my boss who I had been talking to a lot more now. I would tease him and he'd tease me back and several times I thought I might be developing a mini crush on him. Then I would think, thats ridiculous. He's nine years older than me, got a girlfriend (an "open" relationship is still a relationship in my book) and is so not someone who would wake up one morning and be like "oh my goodness I think I love you." I mean let's be realistic about life here shall we? Yes, we shall.

So at some point we had this ritual of going for drinks after work on Fridays. Ok, so it was only twice, whatever. Anyway I do not drink for pleasure. I do not seek out alcohol and to be honest I am not a big fan. I'd rather have a coke, you know? But I went and I drank and it was all just to spend time with him Do I sound pathetic yet? Oh no, it gets wore. Sit tight.

So after the second week I was talking to him a lot more liberally. We began text messaging a lot. My last phone bill was atrocious because I had not switched over to unlimited texts mesages yet. I have now. I average about 3000 a month, just with him. Ya. Bad. Bad, bad, bad. OK. So at this point my confusion level is at a very high level right? What does this man want from me? Why is he spending so much time with me? Is he really with his chick or what? What does he really think of me? Why wont he leave me alone? Why am I indulging this when I know damn well this is dangerous territory and at some point I will be hurt. I'm such a deluded moron.

We upgraded to him coming over to my flat. At first just hanging out in my TV-less living room trying to make conversation. Awkwardish at times. Then hanging out and his tickling me. What? We never had ANY sort of physical contact before. Red Flag.

Then we went dancing. I'm sorry. People in the 50s and 60s go dancing. No, we went to the club.

Ya. So apprantly I dance like a stripper or a whore or someting, I dunno. Red Flag.

We text for a week and it comes up every so often. "We should do it again sometime" we both say back and forth. Red Flag. Then we did do it again. And on the dance floor he kisses me. RED FLAG RED FLAG RED FLAG!!!! We go back to my flat. He comes up. BLOODY RED FLAG DAMN YOU!!!

We make out. Half naked girl. Majorly inappropriate behavior. Ay Dios Mio. By this point, it really only was a train track down to hell for me, there was no stopping the runaway train that was my hormones. I was jonesing (is that how you spell that? dunno, whatev) for this man.

The next night he came over with movies. We watched one. And then we made out. And then we shagged. Bollucks the dozey cow. I flipping shagged me boss. Well, manager, but boss in any event. Who is nine years older than me and has a girlfriend. Remember when I asked if you thought I was pathetic earlier? Well, I think now is an appropriate juncture to think that with abandon and even tack on a few other words onto my growing list. Oh yes, I have a list children. A big one. And not an inch of it is good.

So. I'm a whore. I sleep with my boss and I sleep with other girls' men. And the bloody ironic thing in all his? His girlfriend has not shagged him. They have been an item for three years and she is a proper Christian girl who honors her body and did not want to compromise her faith for lust. In three years he has not shagged her and he is still with her. She is basically everything I thought I would be. A virgin and holding fast to her faith and moral values. And I am the classic harlot who deserves nothing less than to be stoned to death. Even biblical Rahab was better than me cuz at least that chick was redeemed and knew better at some point and was even restored in the Lord's eyes to the point of being in the direct lineage of Jesus Christ. The major harlot of the old testament, one of them at least, was better than me. Dear Lord in Heaven, what have I done?