Bad things always come in plurals as it would seem

So. Now that the shock of what I did with my boss has finally sunk in, we can move on to bigger and better problems, can't we? We can indeed.

I'm a flirt. I'm sure that was blaringly obvious to everyone else on the planet but me. I honestly did not think I was one. But I seem to get myself into all these fixes and it must be because I open myself up to them.

A guy I have been friends with for a while now messed everything up last night. He is from my country and we have honestly been nothing but on and off friends for about a year and a half. I say on and off because we just don't see each other that often and we don't talk terribly often. Anyway. He comes over at times to my flat. No biggie right? I am passionate about music and so is he and we listen to my music, I introduce him to artists and genres he is not exposed to and we hang out and have harmless no-strings-attached fun. Right? Wrong.

He came over last night. We hung out. He helped me move my bed. He stayed for four hours. Hmmn. He gave me a foot massage. You would think I would have been clever enough to do some damage control then. I knew what was happening but was in denial about it. I was in serious denial because I seriously did not want it to happen. I'm friends with him. That is how I want it to be.

He left at midnight and I sighed in relief. I'm such a deluded moron.

He called me half an hour later and said he had been sitting in the parking lot the whole time since he left and that he had something he wanted to say to me. In person. Curses.

I let him back in. Moron. He spent twenty minutes saying he had no words to express himself. And then he kissed me. Ay Dios Mio. Yo no se que hacer!!

I sat there and then, as to not make it any more awkward, I tentatively kissed him back. Not really but I wasn't just sitting there and he would not stop. Ugh! It was strange and I wanted it to stop but he wouldn't. Finally I got him to but it was a mission trying to get him to leave my place. He finally left and I was annoyed. I hated that he had to do that because now I have to be mean. I do not want this. I don't know what I want but I don't think I want this.

And as if that was not bad enough. I called my boss to tell him about it because I was in panic mode and needed advice, and so I called him. We shall call him the Flower Bandit. That is my nickname for him because he told me every girl he has ever shagged before me was a virgin. He stole their flowers, hence Flower Bandit.

Flower Bandit was at his girlfriend's house nursing her back to health from her bad case of strep throat. Ugh! Why do I do stupid things? Why?

As expected, Flower Bandit was not helpful and I regretted calling him because I was not ignoring him like I promised myself I would because it is all getting too complicated for me. I want to disappear. That is not the grown up thing to do and would not solve anything but I want to go away and never come back.