My friend Clark and I have been emailing back and forth and I have felt really bad after each email I got from him. He is always talking about God which I would love if I wasn't always feeling like the devil when he spoke to me. I used to be that way as a Chirstian and i wonder of living so long in America has made me so......lax. More than I used to be. I am still very much a Christian and a believer in Christ, but I am not as rigid. Perhaps the reality is I am losing touch with God and becoming more cavalier. Could it be that my fears of dilluting my spiritual walk once I came to the States and started living as relaxed and liberated as Americans do has come to pass? Is that really a bad thing? Does it mean I am further away from God than I once was or am I going through the fire that will purify me ultimately? Would I have benefited by staying home in my spiritual comfort zone or am I really losing touch?
This is the email reply i just sent him. I wonder if he'll be offended or hurt. I hope not.
When i say extremist, I do not mean truly living in the word Clark. I mean being so bogged down with the law, you fail to see the real essence of this belief, which is the salvation through Christ, not through following the law meticulously. I see extremists as people who think they know better than everyone else and even God at times, because they get tied down in the rules. My personal relationship with Christ is ever evolving and is based on a lot of mercy. I am not saying i totally chuck the law out the window, but if i break a rule, my life isn't over.
I am mature enough in my faith to know that I need to work on tapping daily into my spirit so that my spirit can converse with the spirit of God. If i am sitting around worried that "Oh gosh, I did this or i am not living perfectly and must get on that before I can even approach God" I will never truly benefit.
The law is there for our protection, not our blind devotion to it.
"Everything is permissible but not everything is beneficial" says the Lord. My spiritual nourishment is based on daily reflection of biblical precepts but i am not going to live rigidly. Otherwise there is no way I can ever hope to help those who don't know the Lord or actively choose not to know him.
The problem with most Christians, and i sincerely hope that the impression i get from you that you're headed that way is wrong, is that they get very righteous and feel the need to lecture everyone on how to be serious about God. Yes, people need to know God and stop their sinful ways, but just like teens and kids, lecturing and reprimanding will only drive them further away and further into rebellion. You have to have been a sinner yourself to be able to reach sinners. That is how God connected with us. He came down and went through everything we go through so he could truly say he understands. He lived perfectly and showed us the way, yes.
Christians must not forget that they too were once blind. Empathy is the best way to disarm someone. Instead of looking at sinners with disdain and self-righteous conceit and instead of being so worried about the future, focus on trying to expand the kingdom of God now, through the same patience and mercy he shows us everyday.
If a fifteen year old girl comes to you and says she lost her virginity last night, the last thing to do is condemn her or say how disappointed in her you are because you thought she was above that. She's human. She made a mistake. You were once there too. Realize that and tell her it's ok. You understand and God still cares so much for her. Don't beat her over the head with the bible and say she is not as spiritual as you thought she was or that she seems less devoted to God. Despite what she tells you, you will never ever know what is in her heart, be human first. Connect on a human level and then that will soften hearts and make spirits receptive to you to share God's voice with that person.
Being Christian means we are no longer tied to this earth but we are bound for greater things. However, we are still ON this earth and still human. Find the balance, no need for extremism. You can love God extremely and want to do his will extremely and live for him extremely without being an extremist. There is a difference. Too much of one thing is never good. I'm not saying too much of God is not good, I am saying focusing solely on one aspect of God, the law or living righteously, will deter you from the billions of other facets of who He really is.
I was not asking you to censor your emails Clark. You just seem very judgmental of me lately. I am not saying that because I feel guilty about my life. I don't. I know where I am with God and maybe I just share the problems with you and you think I have lost touch with Him completely and I haven't. It's hard for me to really talk to you about me because I am always afraid you are going to tell me how lazy, less spiritual and disappointing I am to you or how i am so busy I am not giving God his due time in my life.. I know that already, I am imperfect and I do slip a lot. I do not need confirmation on that and if it is all you can offer me, don't.
You know me to have always been someone who takes a lot of life seriously so if you were joking I missed that. If not, then spare me the criticism because that is what I am hearing on my end. I know we're friends and you're trying to help. I just need a human friend, not a priest.
I do care a lot about you, one of my closest friends and I hope you won't get mad and think I am pushing you away. I am just trying to let you know how I really feel, something I don't do often enough with anyone.
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