Thought.

Ok this is all just damn ridiculous now isn't it? I NEED a friggin boyfriend already.

Well, i do. Judge and criticize and advise all you want but i KNOW i NEED a bofriend, like yesterday ago.

I am so friggin lonely it's almost pathetic how pathetic i find myself and my life. I am so tired of this, so friggin tired of all this. Honestly. Bloody tired.

And..... I hate to say it but...

I'm just aching for a shag. I really am you know. And i haven't even had a proper shag ever. EVER.

Honestly here kids, i am not one to be seen as less than perfect but reality has been kicking my arse for far too long now so I'm just giving in. I don't care. I want a shag and i am not really ashamed to admit that. I want a boyf and i don't think that is pathetic of me to want one.

NOW.

So what to do to solve this little dilema of mine? Be proactive. I've been afraid of men almost as much as i am afraid of snakes (can't stand the slimey buggers). I have stayed completely away form any man or tried to woo a man by pretending not to have any slight interest in him. Or i have gone the other extreme and gone out with total losers because i had no other options going at the moment. Ok, that was a little pathetic, i admit, but damn it.

I need a plan. I need a boyf like now and i need a shag.

This really all very disillusioning.

But i don't care.