So My friend who is leaving for good in October is selling her car. Finally a car I can afford. But not all at once. She wants half the money upfront. Looks like another thing not going to work out for me. I can not complain because I was given a major massive break recently. But then bills this month were astronomical. And I will not be getting a car... still. It has been over 6 years I have not been able to get a car. For other people it is no problem at all. Everyone else gets a car and can get around and not have problem. And it seems everyone is in a relationship. Cousin is getting married. Attending another friend's wedding. Everyone is in a relationship, getting engaged, having babies, moving to new countries or back to loved ones.
And I feel like I am standing on the outskirts of life with a big soundproof glass in front of me, watching everyone else live life while I am trapped on an island of misery and loneliness. I have no friends left. I am truly by myself now, trapped on this island I would rather not live on but have no choice. Without and car, without friends and without love.
I am feeling a solitary blue today.
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