Is it childish of me to feel nonplussed when people who are supposed to care about me don't take an interest in me? I do my best not to whine and bemoan the same people over and over. I understand that when I am in a funk or feeling low I should stick to myself and try to deal with it before going to others wailing. I do not call people too often to talk about me. I prefer talking about them or what is going on in their lives, if only to deflect the pure frustrating mess that is my own life. I admit sometimes I have to tel someone when i feel bad because i feel like I might explode from the pain but it is not so often that I have made myself a pest.
And I understand that people have things they go through too. Their own lives. But the one word that describes me lately is alone and this weekend it almost physically hurt. My cousin moved to Boston (Granted she lived in GA anyway and was still far away from me. But she moved and didn't even tell me. I felt neglected or left out or whatever. FB decided he was going to have a silent weekend and not respond to me so I felt neglected. Granted I was also convinced he was with someone this weekend which is cool but why not just tell me and not leave me wondering and texting and calling like an idiot. I stopped. Last night he texted me at 8 something and I ignored. I felt hurt that he did not care enough to check on me all weekend so I wanted to be alone.
This is the problem. I feel slighted because all my friends now, the only times I ever talk to them is when I call them. I should take a hint I suppose. I just didn't realize it until now. They all have lives and those lives do not include me at all anymore. So it was a sucky weekend to say the least.
And yet another bemoaning post. Fantastic.
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