like a moth to a flame burned by the fire......

So it's been a while hasn't it? Me and my procrastinating lazy ways right? I have so much to say but it's all backed up i'm overwhelmed. OK, where to begin?

How about my birthday? Yeah. Ring-a-ding, bahumbug or whatever you wish. Apparently 22 is not a landmark year, go figure right? And my birthday just happened to fall on a Thursday while i was in a city where i have no good friends really and everybody else was on Spring break around here. So you can imagine how excited i was. It is not that i was upset, but it was going to be a non-descript day as far as i was concerned. Plus i had a job interview that morning. So i didn't make plans. This is never wise when those who are aware of your birthday (only thanks to blood ties and the all knowing facebook) keep asking you what you're going to do. I responded truthfully, 'nuttin' and they were shocked and appalled from the gasps and sighs of sympathy i recieved. What is the big kafifo anyway? It's just my 22nd. Is it supposed to be a big deal?

So everyone was lamenting about my lack of plans for my birthday and then all the offers came flooding in. It's almost as if the lonely girl defense agency kicked into gear and everyone consulted their calendars to see if something could be done. So first came T. He promised me a night on the town, painting the town blue or some craziness like that. Cool. I didn't take it at face value because as sweet as T is, he has a habit of cancelling on me every so often because of work or some other obligation or of wanting to incorporate dodgy individuals into our plans. But i figured if it came to pass, it would be ok right?

So the morning of my birthday, around midnight, like clockwork mum rang. She wished me Happy birthday, went through the annual spiel about how old i was making her and dad and then handed it over to the bruv. He wished me Happy birthday and handed back to mum who mentioned that there would be a little something special in my bank account that day. Gotta love those parents right? The only ones who truly understand your brithday! Dad was at work and the little ster was at school but i was promised a call later on from them and hung up feeling happy. There's nothing like family and money to get you smiling ey?

Next Queen C called me. We talk a lot and though she can work my nerves once in a while, she is truly a good friend. She was on her way back from a date with the new guy. Hmmn, save that for a later post. Anyway, she wished me happy birthday, told me about her date and all was peachy.

When i finally did get to sleep, it was time to wake up and get ready for my interview. I had treated myself to Chinese delivery the night before (i know, i'm living extravagantly! *rolls her eyes*) and the fortune cookie said if i wore yellow the next day i would have a lucky day. So i wore green and tan. I don't believe in luck or fortune cookies.

Anyway went for the interview and the lady gives me a packet the size of freaking Websters to look over and i didn't hear her when she said that the interview would start once i was through. So i am looking through this thing, wondering why she isn't in the office, why i am sittting there and after twenty minutes she asks if i am through. I was like, OH. She was waiting on me. Well damn it. The interview went for about forty minutes and she basically told me everything i had read and i was restless, as i get after about ten minutes usually. Then she asks if i want the job and i said yes and she said i had it. Wha? That was what i got dressed and came in for? Motherf-!

Ok we took a tour of the building and FINALLY she let me go but not before handing me another phonebook of paperwork to FILL OUT and directions of where i needed to take the paperwork. Motha-!

Got out of there and was going to go and celebrate by going shopping. The only decent place to do that? The mall. Curses. I hate the mall. But i got my roommate and her friend K to drop me off (my car is evil and will not function) on their way and in the process they asked what i was doing. I said nuttin. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

They decided that would just not do and that they were going to rescue me from the clutches of lonely boredom and take me to this game place. I knew i had standing plans with T but was not sure if they were solid (hadn't called me at all yet) so i said i would let them know. They thought that meant yes since i had said i did not have plans yet.

Went shopping, bought a pair of gorgeous shoes for $60 only cuz it was my birthday. Shoes on my feet should never cost $60 but i was shopping with abandon because it was my day. I like them but still don't think they are worth $60. Although i have been eyeing them for about six months now. Then in a moment of stupidity i bought these two very revealing club-type shirts, you know? The ones that swoop to your belly and expose the girls in all their glory?

My girls have never been glorious. They are very immature and disappointing. Why then did i buy these $40 tops? Because i was a deluded moron and figured, hell, if Grace Adler can do it, why not me? Because Grace Adler is fictional and you are not that's why!! Where the hell was that pep talk from my shoulder angel huh? Instead my shoulder devil was all in the mix, telling me to embrace my sexy side. I think i needed to embrace a straightjacket before i did that mess. And to add insult to bad fashion sense, they were final sales. Damn-diggity-dogggone-damnit!! I do not understand how a peice of thin, almost bloody see through fabric that doesn't cover a damn thing can cost more than a damn turtleneck! Wha-? But my silly ass bought them anyway? Why? I don't damn know.

I bought another pair of heels. I hate heels but as a girl i have been man-handled by society into wearing the damned things even though i dread it and they hurt my feet and i can not dance or run in them and have to sit down a lot. And i dunno what the hell it is with me. I will walk into a store, see something i think i might like, try it on, walk around in it for about an hour, sit and really ponder about it, i mean like put it in front of me and really stroke my chin about it. I'll consider the price, walk out the store, shop some more and finally go back and purchase them, making sure i know where the reciept is. I liked them in the store. The sales lady had them on and they looked great. I brought them home. I dunno anymore.

Anyway i spent an obscene amount of money that day to cut a very very very very long story into a shorter long, long story. So, it was around 5 in the evening. Still hadn't heard from T. And my aunt calls to wish me happy birthday and ask what my fav stores were and if i was doing anything. I said no. It was a reflex damnit! So she's all rallying the troops (the cousins) and trying to organize a nice dinner somewhere. Hmmn. Great. So i hung up with a possible family dinner and finally an hour later had to call T because he had said dinner then painting the town. So i needed a solid already. Told him i was having din with the fam, he was preoccupied with work, i don't even think he was listening to me. He said he'd call me later before i could tell him i needed to know. Said he was busy. Hung up. What the hell? I didn't want to damn do anything for my birthday in the first place but since you damn offered, let me know instead of calling me at nine and saying 'lets go, i'm downstairs' like people always do with me. What? do i look like i am in a perpetual state of ready-to-damn-go-out? Damn!

Then the rommmate is bugging me because she had already booked for 8 at the game place and gotten two of her friends to come. Damn it all to hell. I have loads of shopping to sort through, an outfit to pick out, depending who i go with and where we go and three people making plans without telling me a damn thing about it. So i cancelled with the roommate. I had cancelled on her and the same people the week before to hang out with the cousins, remember that disastrous evening? Ya. She seemed pissed off or hurt like i was this inconsiderate little witch who couldn't appreciate people trying to help HER out or something and when i tried to reschedule for the following night she rushed me off the phone with "yeah sure whatever ok, don't worry about it then it's fine." Made me feel like crap.

Then the cousin calls and asks if i wanna have dinner. It's damn 7 at night. I asked with who. With the other cousin(the ones i keep hanging out with and wondering why the hell i keep doing it) and their friend. Yes the one who took us to that weak party last week, the one they always schoffer everywhere, the one with a million and one friends who i am not clicking with. I thought about it this time. Until they mentioned it was at this Lebanese restaurant with belly dancers. I was psyched about that so i said yes. So much for self-restraint. And so much for the family dinner thing. I figured i would go to that and then go out with T if he ever decided what the hell he was doing.

Dinner. The dancing lasted for twenty minutes. It was cool, but it was 20 minutes. The table was jam packed with the girl's friends. It was not a birthday celebration. I was so and so's cousin who was tagging along. Plus, i decided to wear one of the new tops i had bought. This was before the delusion wore off. so there i was. Naked. And my allergies had been bugging me for days. Texas is not good for me. So i was sneezing and leaking out of my nose every two seconds. Not pretty. And this meant reapplying my lipstick every two minutes since i have yet to buy that outlast stuff i keep telling myself to buy since lipstick only usually lasts five minutes with me. And it was cold. I had a headache and was sitting with a bunch of non-welcoming people. And, it does not stop there my friends. Oh no. The food. I am used to any cuisine almost. I could deal with Lebanese cuisine. I ordered meat pies. at $7 i figured it would be enough of a meal right? It was a damn starter in my book. It was four little pastries, three of which could have fit in my palm at once. and four slivers of pickled turnip and three slivers of pickles for garnish. By sliver, i mean half the size of a very small carrot stick. Half. All on a bed of shredded lettuce.

Do i look like a fucking rabbit? Do they not see that i am black and when i order food? It better damn be food dammit. So i paid $10 for half a snack (and a tip on top of that. wha-?) and then they decided they wanted to go on the patio of the place and smoke hookah. I don't smoke. I am not bonding. And T calls and asks if i wanna go to the R. Kelley after party and to inform me that if i did i would be spending the night in Dallas and make it back home the next day. I am sneezing, leaky and gross, cold as hell, have the biggest headache and am hungry and bored and falling in and out of my damn top sitting around with a bunch of wierdos half drunk and smoking hookah pipes and all i wanted to do was go home. The afterparty was at a club close to where i was but the line wound around several blocks. I decided to let T go and have fun with his friends, since i was an afterthought anyway, and figured my best bet of getting home soon was with the cousins and their people. Wrong.

They decided around midnight that they were going to go to this hole-in-the-wall hip hop spot. It was a shack that looked like it belonged on a Venezuelan beach or something and it was packed with funky, dodgy people. No prospects whatsoever. None. Zero. My only salvation were these two guys who were part of the group. They didn't really know everyone either and they were fun. One was this obnoxious, short but adorable white 25 yr old who can not dance and his friend was the closest Don Cheadle look alike i have ever seen. I liked him straight away because of that, but he was a little shorter and smoked so i wasn't liking him too too much. Anyway they were fun. Me and Don Cheadle were trying to teach Sweet&Low how to dance, to no avail but trying was fun. That was toward the end of the night. We left shortly after that and an hour later i was home and cursing my decision to not stay in and acknowledge by birthday quietly.

So that was Thursday. Oh yes, there is so much more. I had the best weekend i have had in a while. I will save that for the next entry, this one is long enough as is, but Austin this weekend rocked. And i hung out with the fun cousin. Why i went out on my birthday with the unfun twins i have no idea. I was a deluded moron and though i keep saying it, i will not be doing that again! But like a moth to a damn flame......