Food for Thought

I recieved one of those loathed email forwards today. I detest forwards. In all shapes, forms and fashions. I usually delete them before even opening them. I got one today from someone i have not spoken to in almost a year. I went to delete it and somehow accidentally opened it instead and my attention was caught.

It was a forward about the difference between a girl and a grown woman when it comes to relationships. I hate emails like that but i dunno what happened to me today because i read on. I realized a lot. Now i am not going to babble about some life or self-affirming internet experience where i saw the light and vowed on my life to change my wayward ways. But i was intrigued.

One line, i promise. then we can move on to more pertinent things.

Girls fall in love, chase aimlessly after the object of their affection, ignoring all 'signs'.
Grown women know that sometimes the ones you love, don't always love you back -- and move on, without bitterness.

I told you i was intrigued.

Walked around all night last night trying to take pictures for my night shot assignment. I got nothing. I took a few crap shots but i really have zero. It's due today. But i am really not motivated for that class, it is really bad. I am not motivated in this class either. Journalism is crushing all my dreams here. I am really stagnant in the passion-for-your-career department. Hmmn.

I think i have withdrawn again. From people. It happens periodically where i have friends far away that i just do not want to talk to. Ok, i get a bit fitchy (new word kids. Yeah, it's not gonna stick.) when i imagine i am the one who is concerned with our friendship. I call and call and write messages and always make myself available when people call me. But there is no reciprocity. I feel like the nice guy gets left in the dust and i withdraw and indignantly decide if they are not going to try and talk to me, why should i?

It's a rather childish, selfish way to react isn't it? I think it is. But i am still not being the first one to call. I have been too often. If they care about me, they'll miss me right? Probably not, but it's a nice thought.

Hot guy at the play last night. Hot Hot Hot. Well, two hot guys. I went to see our theatre adaptation of August Wilson's "The Piano Lesson." Brilliant play, just gorgeous. I loved the movie when it came out and the actors and actresses who put it on last night did it justice, great stuff ladies and gents.

So the guy who played Boy Willie was really great. He is an actor, i can say that with confidence. I think it was his personality (even showing through his acting) that caught my eye and i was enthralled with him. He was a cutie. I looked him up. He has a girlfriend. Damn. Not that i would have done anything had he no girl but it was interesting because on his page, he wrote a shout out to his girl and told the world how much he loved her and how he knew she was the one when they first met. And he ended with "I love you beautiful." I thought it was sweet. Does that make me fickle?

Second hot guy. He is Mr. (insert school name here). He is an ambassador and active in about fifty clubs on campus. I am not exaggerating, it really is about fifty. He is smart and up and coming and black. Light skinned is usually not my cup of tea but he is fine. Also has a girl. I saw him first on our school website. He was cute. Last night during the intermission he came to talk to the family sitting behind me. He was in the isle. I looked up at him. He is actually very good looking. More so in person. Surprisingly i didn't have visions of stalking him after the show. I was not remotely upset that i was so close to such a good looking black man with his stuff together and i did not even have the option to have him. That was a turning point for me.

I am no longer stuck on anyone or stuck on the desire to be stuck on someone. Great stuff. Enough said.

This class is killing me!