What are the blooming odds china?

Ok. So. I was at the mall. i hate that place with a renewed passion but for a car-less individual such as myself, i can only really go where the bus goes so....went to the Parks Mall. So last time i was there there was this amazingly gorgeous bloke. He was tall, light brown (back to the brothas) and hot to death. He had the most lucid green eyes i'd ever seen, so incredibly sexy, like emeralds. His name is Bryan or Brian or however you spell it and he was trying to sell me a phone. He's with Cingular or something. I acted as if i were interested (after all i am looking for a phone for when my line expires in March) and i let him pitch it to me. I was enamored with the man. But alas, i walked away with no phone and no cute phone guy. So i know where his kiosk is in the mall. And today i made a point of passing by to see if he was there and if he would remember me. I walked past and he was talking to some customers. So i went down the escalator which is right by his kiosk and then, to my absolute horror, his co-worker starts signaling to me like i had done something or he knew me or something. I would have ignored, but going back up meant getting closer to Bryan and hopefully he would see me.

So i go up and this.....this guy says i looked like someone he used to date. What? how lame. and then he goes on about how you're-just-so-beautiful-and-your-eyes-are-so-sexy-bullshit-bullshit-bullshit. So i humour him, keeping my eye on Bryan. And bryan finally sees me. Talking to his friend. damn it all to hell. So bryan is detached and is on his way for a break and i look up at him as he passes by me in one last act of desperation. And he puts his arm around me and gives me a hug!! I nearly did a backflip but i had to contain my joy because i would have fallen off the ledge and landed in fast-fix jewelry repair. not cute. So i smiled up at him and asked if he remembered me and he said yes. he remembers all faces. right. damn. well. ok then.

he walked off and left me with this tsaga (shona word meaning a ghetto thug-like.... bug-a-boo....i dunno how to translate it, just know he is not my type). so i had to continue humouring him and gave him my number. because i am mentally handicapped. ugh! Bryan!! Why? So i am bummed and his friend, whose name i don't even remember, has called me already (ya like a few hours later. blooming wanker!) and he sounds just awful....like someone i really don't want to associate with the way he wants us to "associate." While i was talking to him he noted my many shopping bags (not one of them for me, Christmas shopping is a cow!) and after he had so tactfully ascertained that i did not in fact have a boyfriend, proceeded to say that one day he hoped to add a Victoria's Secret bag to my collection and that hopefully i would wear it for him. How bloody crass. What is with all these.....these....tsagas and Vicky's? They are so ruining my fav store for me, i am going to be so creeped out by it now. But i am so upset that Bryan doesn't want me but his friend does but i want Bryan.

I think i might be slightly boy crazy actually. It just struck me. Like lightening. Or a really sexy man with dazzling green eyes. Oh my gosh. I am boycrazy! Eeek!

i think i might tell him, this tsaga, next time he rings, that i am actually infatuated with his friend Bryan and could he perhaps set us up or something. No. That would rather mean wouldn't it? Yes. I think it would. Blast. But i am never mean to random guys that stroke my ego. I should have a chance to be. And i really fancy Bryan. He has this ridiculously sexy deep voice and those eyes! Those jewels! Ay, muy caliente! But a hot number like him obviously has a girlfriend. Or fiance. Or wife. (tramp). Or he's gay. The sexy ones always are bloody gay! Damn you gays! Damn you.

Right. I'm telling him that i fancy Bryan and asking if he has a girl or boy friend. What do i have to lose, except this wierdo's number. And perhaps Bryan's respect once he hears that i was such a cow to his co worker and was audacious enough to believe i had a chance with him. Bugger. Ok, ok. Here's what i'll do. I'll ask, very casually, if Bryan and tsaga are close. If they are good friends. Then i'll pretend i am being the classic insecure female fishing for compliments and ask if Bryan thought i was cute, you know, so it's not just in tsaga's head, my alledged beauty (wink wink). Yes! Brilliant! Then, judging on those answers, i'll try and talk about Bryan as much as possible without actually seeming like it and then i'll go by there again next weekend, and time it so Bryan is free and his friend isn't. It'd be brilliant if he friend got transferred. Like, to Madagascar or somewhere. How mean. But it still would be brill. So then i'll make sure i look cute and flirt with Bryan and see..........

Oh this is just ridiculous. I need a grip. I need to let Bryan go. But my goodness those eyes, you don't understand. I have never seen eyes that pretty in my entire life. So bloody gorgeous. And green. How erotic. Ok, i'm not sure how green is erotic but with his eyes it bloody well is. And it has been bugging me all day but his face looks sooo familiar, like smeone i know or have seen a long time ago. I dunno, but he's hot and is going to be the subject of my daydreams and...other dreams...ahem.....from now on. Until the next one comes along. But there won't be one with eyes as pretty as his. Too sexy Dammit!