Peanut said that to me the other day and i laughed, as always because he has a way of making me smile when i want to go on a killing rampage for no good reason. But now that i think back on it i am like, wow. I am really a dark soul. And i have no reason to be. My life does not suck, if anything i have lived a great life.
I would like to retract what i wrote in the entry labelled Friday. Migsy told me he read it (shock horror! i never thought he read my entries) and i had no problem with that. i have nothing to hide from him....well almost nothing. Anyway, i went back and read what i had written. i am a self-righteous little shit. Excuse my french, but i am. I am so immature in my thought processes sometimes. In any event, i do not think my friends hinder my spiritual growth, i think i do that myself. Excuses excuses, they have nothing to do with my spiritual growth. I love my friends. They tap dance on my nerves at times, but i still view them as my lifelines to reality sometimes. Life is not idealistic, it is real. Nasty, gritty and real. Who'd-a-thunk?
I'm off to Costa Rica at the end of the week and i have so much to do still. I am kinda scared, I have been neglecting my Spanish for about a month now so i am back at square one. I know almost nothing. How sad. My host family is gonna think i have some sort of mental handicap. I hate being away for three and a half weeks just after we leave. I am never gonna see most of my friends ever again. I might see P and L at Southern and i might see J onc or twice this summer. If E comes back, i'll see her next semester. But otherwise, i am not going to see these people again. I have to cut off all ties cuz disappointment is inevitable in long distant relationships. Ok, maybe i am being too.....rash. But it has a grain of truth to it if you think about it. A pretty big grain at that. Oh no, here we go with the morbid....ity. New word!! Morbidity. CNN here i come!!!
P.S. I haven't heard from Peanut in two days. It starts.
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