I need a massage!!!!

I really do. I am here in Amsterdam right now. Its only bloody 6 in the morning and the last leg of my horrific trip is in 9 hours. I have 9 hours to kill here. What kind is that? And my body is sooooo numb right now. No, it's not numb it is screaming bloody murder right now. I have been travelling for officially a day now and i am so ready to rest already. I just got off an eight hour flight from Detroit after nearly dying at that airport of boredom because i had a five hour layover. Now i have nine blissful hours to look forward to and my body is rebelling. I am so tense it's ridiculous. I just walked up and down for about six thousand miles trying to find the right trasnfer desk and when i finally did i realized i had walked past it about a billion times already. Anyway, they have a massage parlor downstairs, it only opens at 8:30 am but i looked at the price list, they are bloody mad! 25 Euro for an Aqua massage? I mean, it probably is worth it but i am broke, i need cheap deals here!!

So my back is sore, my neck is sore, my arms are sore, my head hurts like hell and i am tired. I wanna go home now. I wish my flight from Detroit had been direct to Tehran, i could've handled that better than this infernal waiting, it drives me mad. I am seriously thinking of getting a hotel room so i can lie down for seven hours because i have another long flight ahead of me and the way i feel now, it's not looking good.

I just paid $4.40 for fifteen minutes of internet service Ugh!!!! And i am running out of time and i haven't even got to the really good part. Yes, you guessed it my clever friend, Bigg. Yesterday (whenever the heck that was since my time is off wack right now) was such a great day. I was getting ready to leave and..... well actually it started Thursday night/Friday morning (yeah we went till three thirty this time) on the phone with him. Ugh, but the thing is flashing and about to cut me off. To be continued.....

I'm so excited!

I got an A in Bio!!!!! I got an A!!! I am exempt from the final!! YES! Ok, steady. calm down chick. Ok. I'm good. Well, in all honesty, that man gave me that A, i know i was not making an A in that class. Granted i got a 100% on the last quiz we had but that quiz was horribly easy and i actually studied for it. I didn't think it was worth much, and it probably wasn't but he still gave me an A. I suppose i should be upset that he felt the need to give it to me instead of what i really earned, but bump that, i don't have to take the final. Girlfriend is happy! Ah yes, only three finals to worry about now and one is an English paper. I am not too sure about Psychology. Hmmn. But i will do well, i just know i will. Another thing about my Bio Professor. He must have gotten the memo that i am going to Iran and thought i said Iraq. As he gave me my final grade he had this sympathetic look on his face and said "Good luck with your tour." I just smiled and said thank you then when i got outside it hit me. He thinks i am being shipped off to war. The look he gave me was a "Poor girl, we'll probably never see you alive" look. I wonder if that's why he gave me an A. He's going to catch a shock when he sees me in his Bio 1108 class next semester and when he puts together that i am going to IRAN and for holiday at that. Huh.
I am excited still about going home. A little saddened by the fact that i will not see Bigg for a good minute and when we come back we will be estranged and back to just hi/bye when we pass each other. He called me Friday night. Or should i say Saturday mornng realy, he called just after midnight Friday. Of coarse i wasn't here, i went home this weekend to do last minute shopping. But in any event, he rang. I saw his number on my caller I.D. and got happy for a second, I checked my messages and there was none from him. I dunno what he wanted in the wee hours of the morning, but i didn't call him to find out. He has me running after him like a wounded animal all the time, it isnot cute. If he wants to talk, he'll call again. He has less than a week. We'll keep you posted on progress of that one.
I need to type up my English paper and read the play for today. I am such a procrastinator.
Oh yeah, i get back yesterday and there is a sign on the bulletin board that all of Phillip's workers who didn't help out and work four hours on the float are currently unemployed. I had no idea about the float and i went home this weekend and so i didn't help out. I seem to be the only R.A. who didn't and so i dunno what that means. I am praying i didn't lose my job over something so foolish. I really hope he just meant deskworkers cuz i really need this job. It's just sad really. But i am trusting God that all is well.
Ok, i really have to start my paper now, it's due in two hours. Right.

Mind Games

I have one week left before i fly out. I am anxious. This is my last weekend and instead of spending it here at school i am going home to shop and do last minute stuff before i leave. Aunty M is taking me to Jacksonville to do some serious shopping. That should be fun. And stressful.

He's playing mind games with me. Bigg. OK, i got back to skwa on Sunday. I spent most of the night with Miguel working on the paper. Not really, but theoretically. Anyway, i was preoccupied. And Monday and Tuesday i was preoccuppied too. I stayed that way. I stayed in my room and took all the routes around campus that would ensure i wouldn't bump into him. Bigg. So Wednesday rolls around and i am minding my own business. I walk behind the building he works in. Next thing i know when i turn the corner, he comes out of the side door calling my name. Bigg. I stopped and took off my headphones thinking he wanted something. He didn't. He just wanted to chat. Asked why i hadn't called him. Small talk. He was meant to be working but he came out to chat. What is that? So we small chat and stuff, nothing important though he asked when i was leaving and made some silly comment about me catching my flight in (insert city name) just so i'd be close to him. He didn't say that but he did mention my catching the flight there so i just assumed that's what he was alluding to. Right. So i said i didn't think so. He was only kidding.

I had been carrying my discman and notebook in my hand and set them down on the ledge when he came out. He moved my discman and looked at my open notebook and read out the first line of a poem i wrote about him playing games with me. I coud have died. I grabbed it and told him my poetry was private. He found that amusing. That was the end of that conversation. So out of the blue. I hated that he did that. Why would he do that? I have finally resolved to not concern myself with him and he pulls this after i go half the week with no problems. And then, as per usual, it goes back to what it was. I see him Thursday and we are back to being distant aquaintances. Mind games. I am trying to move on with life again. This repetativeness is so not cute. Thank God i am leaving in a couple of hours. I 'll have the weekend to be away and unavailable. And then next week i am off. I just wish i could shut off my thoughts of him. I have a feeling i will carry them with to Iran and spend four miserable weeks wondering why he doesn't want me and why i can't be what he's looking for. I am sad, i realise this. But what can a girl do right? But i am working on it, i will overcome this one too. I have to, else i go mad.

I think i am misexpressing myself here. Bigg is not the one i am mad at. I am mad at me. I read into this thing all wrong and got tangled in my own mess. He is just a nice guy who thought it might be cool to get to know that quiet girl that doesn't speak much to people. And that was that. And i took it the wrong way. Ah well. Don't you love when life does that to you?

I got a class right now. He's right downstairs i think. Damn.