Surprise.....but not.

I have been an idiot for years. Love is something I don't like to tamper with. I got burned and kept touching the hotplate and now I don't know if I can ever be fixed. I hate it. Oh well. Same old story. Bleh.

Just Kidding

I can be entirely too naive.

It's still the same.

He's not interested.

Does things to let me know.

I let him confuse me and I don't know how to get out.

It isn't cool.

You know, they are never really bad people. They are just greedy. And selfish.

As much as I care so much for him it hurts me to my soul, he isn't going to change is he? I knew that two years ago.

Great times.

Regression?

This could be bad. I had planned to be free of it a long time ago. But I am deeper in it. I think I may be in love with him. Oh dear. Damn it all to hell. I have to wait and see what is in store this year because I am scared a bit. I need to seek God's counsel on this but that is my thought process right now.

So. Long Time.

To be honest I just haven't felt like writing much. Well, sometimes i do but then i get lazy and don't And I was just hit with that feeling now. But the best thing that has happened to me all year happened last night. I went to see Janet Jackson. My celebrity. I LOVE HER AND I WOULD DO ANYTHING TO MEET HER AND I STILL THINK SHE IS THE BEST PERFORMER EVER. I just had to get that off my chest. I was awestruck to be in the same room with her and our seats were good and I loved the whole thing. I went with FB which was probably not the best thing because the few down bits I had that night were because of him. He didn't do anything, he just was being himself and my old ghosts would not stay dead. Ok. Let don't ruin this post with all that. Ms. Jackson was sexy and inspiraional and the best thing I have experienced all year. I LOVE YOU JANET!

Updates

My my my. I have been rather the naughty girl haven't I? I have stayed off this blog for ages. Oh dear, not too good. But a quite a bit has happened since I last blogged. Quick updates:

1. My uncle died. My aunt, his wife, dies three years ago now and it affected me very deeply. With him it wasn't as intense since I was much closer to her. There was loads of drama though. His Nigerian girlfriend and her kid and her not wanting to move out of his apartment....drama. Too much to recap really.

2. I got a job. Mind you I am a temp but it is a professional job and I don't have to be at that horrible place anymore. Lol. Ok, it wasn't horrible but it was tragic being there ages after graduation. I'm in the Ecommerce dept of a major Beauty Supply chain. I work at the HQ and my boss is nice. Met a girl in web design who graduated at the exact same ceremony as I did. Wild ey? I take the bus to work and make a bit more dosh than I was.

3. As a result of update number two I have moved an hour away. Well, not quite. I still have my apartment but I am staying with some people until I figure things out. It's a bit of a mess really but I am doing ok.


4. .....Well I suppose thats it really. A lot has stayed the same to my dismay.

1. I still don't have a car.

2. I am in the same apartment.

3. Still not over FB in the least, therefore am still single and slightly miserable. Though I don't have to see him often at all anymore but that just does nothing to speed up my getting over him.

That blows. I am restless still with life though things have changed for the better. I need to count my blessings though. I have been blessed beyond measure.

And I have become very very lazy when it comes to writing, hence my neglect of this blog. I guess I got tired of depressing posts and so I stopped. Hmmn.

Well thats it.

And life goes on.