Go Brazil!

We're official. I am his girl. He's my baby. We're officially official.

For the most part. It worries me a bit that our officiality happened while we were on two different continents. That was my fault. I think if looked into, it is me wanting as much distance and being comfortable to make such a decision simply because i know i do not have to face it for real everyday. I am far away for a long time. Well, a month and a half now. So i am okay with making that decision. I can be his girl while i am poncing around the middle east and not going to see him for a couple of months right? My counsellor said i do this with every aspect of my life. I am terrified to death of failure and thus the procrastination and the waffling and the perfectionism that goes to the extreme where i want so badly for something to be perfect that i tell myself i can never make it perfect and so i don't even bother with it or i procrastinate about it.

I think my counsellor has been watching Dr. Phil.

Anyway less analysing, more celebrating. I have my first official boyfriend. Yay. I'm sorry, i dunno why i am not more enthused about this. I know it is not a big deal, but to me it should. Or at least i always wanted it to be. Okay, stop stop stop.

I am having surgery on my right eye next week somtime. Again. For the umpteenth time. But hopefully this is the last time. Am i worried? No. Should i be? Perhap. I dunno. We'll have to see about that. Okay i don't feel like blogging today. I'll do this later.

The greatest game on the planet

It is World Cup season finally! There really is no other sport worth watching than football. No wonder it is the number one most popular sport worldwide.

I love watching the game. It is exciting, inspiring, emotional. And the men are drop-dead-shut-your-mouth sexy! Athletic men are so hot to me. Broad shoulders, sexy thick thighs, long hair and all. I love it!!

We are watching Iran v. Mexico right now, and though i am in Iran, i am rooting for Mexico. Sorry, but that is my team in this match. They just tied it 1-1 and it's now halftime. I can just imagine the craziness that will definately ensue IF Iran wins this match. They were already making noise in anticipation this afternoon, driving around blasting music, honking horns and screaming with their flag painted on thier faces.

I have to say I was disappointed that Zim didn't qualify, by a hair. Had we qualified....!!! I can't even begin to imagine the excitement. I would have been crazy, painting my face and all! I so wish i were there man!!

Oooh! They are coming back to the field! second half. Fingers crossed for Mexico!!

Venga Mexico! Viva Mexico!

Pissy the dozey cow

He went out with my ocusins last night (Saturday night). He said it was the last time for a long time because they are a little out of control at times. Whatever, his perogative. They went down to Austin to see my other cousin D. Ok. So what right?

I was talking to him before they got on the road. It was nice and i was missing him and wanting to be with him just then. He said he'd leave me a message, before he started drinking. I flinched a bit. Sure, i mean he can do thatif he likes. At least one sober one before i get crazy drunk messages from him right?

So i check my messages the next day. Nothing. Cool. Whatever. I check a few hours later. Three drunk messages. For some reason that pissed me the hell off. I mean, why is it necessary for him to get smashed off his face at all? What for? I never understand why people willingly get drunk. Now, i am not trying to be judgemental. Americans have a thing about 'don't judge me!" an all that crap! So, it isn't what i am doing. I am simply wondering why that was necessary.

Whatever, i think i am just in another pissy mood and needed something to blame it on.

Just Do It

Nike had it so right.

So i just sent him an email. Right after i got off the phone with him. I was in a bitchy mood and he got on my nerves. Then i felt bad and dropped him an email telling him i wanted to be his and that i was slightly off my head and don't mind my crazy moody moments and that i hated his habit. Apparently brooding does nothing. So i laid it out there for him. Granted it'll be days till he checks his email, but still. I told him. So now we wait.

My family is so freaking messed up. Ok, traditionally when a person dies, it is their children that handle the funeral stuff and the wake and the funeral is held at their oldest child's home (this is Zim we're talking about, not all funerals are at funeral homes) Ok. so my family then. My great grandfather had about eight kids. Miriam died. Betty (my grandmother) is in Germany where she's lived for over thirty years. Robert and Kingston live in America where they have lived over twenty years. Julia is sick. First breast cancer and now AIDS. Nora is mentally unstable. John is a crook but otherwise healthy. Kenneth is the oldest, married to a witch of a woman and useless with a long string of totally useless kids of his own, all of working and marrying ages. Right. According to our tradition, care of the parents falls on the resposibility of the oldest. Kenneth. Living in somewhat poverty with a bunch of unemployed, demented kids who are so freaking useless it makes me weak just thinking about it.

During my great grandparent's old age, not one of their kids stepped up to take care of them. Ok, i take that back. Betty, Miriam and Robert did. Financially. They were out of the country and could only send money and plead with the family to take care of them. Kenneth, the oldest, hardly visited. Due to his wife, the dozey cow! John is a crook. That sums it up really. Nora was mentally unstable, i am not sure what her deal was really. Julia was in the village with them when her life fell apart and her deadbeat husband left but then she started getting sick. Kingston was useless even before he moved to the States. So the old folks were in a bit of a fix.

Lucky for them, and everyone else, my mum loved the old folks because they were the only ones who ever really loved her from the time she was little. Everyone else was appallingly cruel to her, including her own dozey sister who was very cruel growing up. Her uncles were mean to her. Her dad abandoned her. The only man to every love her, and rather celestially at that, was her grandad. She was his favourite and she regarded him as her dad. So when she got married, she took care of him. For the last few years when the old folks have really been ill, she was the one there for them. That is, whenever we were in Zim. But even when we were not, those old folks would have perished had it not been for mum pushing those at home to care for them.

My mother is a remarkable woman. Caring to the brim, but she is the type of woman that commands nothing but the most reverential respect. Perhaps at times to the point of fear. I believe a lot of my family members are scared of her. Quite a number of people are, though she is really sweet, but she don't play.

So now he has died and it's crazy. They are having the funeral thing at my mum's sister's home because she was taking care of the old folks while mum was over in the middle east. No where near as good at it as mu, was. That isn't me saying that either, everyone felt really worried when dad got posted here and mum had to leave care of the old folks to the remaining family members who are about as useful as a chocolate teapot in the desert.

I dunno, it is all very ad. I started this post wanting to delve deep into this issue but all of a sudden i feel bored. This entry is rather useless actually. Hmmn. Well done me.